September 1, 1996 (CE) Oakland Science News- Marine Biologists Discover Giant Squid Population Beneath Alcatraz Island.
San Francisco Bay- Marine Biologists performing a routine biodiversity assessment in the bay found a large population of squids thriving beneath the erstwhile prison. They reported their findings in a joint announcement with the EPA, Scripts Institute, and CFFLISTO (Committee For Finding Lost Shit In The Ocean) on Tuesday. The team of three scientists and two divers were aboard the Hella Fish, a boat owned and operated by Jacques Alouette. The group had been listening for whales before entering the water when they heard an unidentified transmission. The source of the transmission was coming from the island of Alcatraz or more precisely, beneath the island. Team leader, P. Blossom of Elegast Labs, requested Alcatraz Island shut down all power and electronic communications. In a surprise move, the Parks Association complied. The island went dark for several hours, the transmission continued. “It had to be biologic in source. So we sent the divers down.” The divers returned with several photos showing thousands of squids living beneath the island.
The discovery is shocking for several reasons but most notably squids are salt water creatures. The estuary is extremely bio-diverse and many aquatic species have adaptations allowing them to live in both freshwater and salt water environments. Local naturalist and cephalopod enthusiast, Robin Goodfellow, has participated in 17 bio-diversity surveys in and around the San Francisco Bay. “We’ve never really been looking for squid in the bay. Clearly that doesn’t mean they aren’t in there. I mean, for years the government has denied access to the waters around Alcatraz. How are we supposed to conduct an accurate survey when the access is denied?” He went on to point out that squid populations have been found in other bays, namely the Chesapeake. The scientists were quick to point out that they were unable to secure a specimen and as such, cannot say anything for certain about the species or its adaptations. All the photographs and both divers have been sent to Elegast Labs for further interpretation. The scientists cannot confirm or deny the claims that the transmissions are anything more than squid to squid communication.
Local fisherman and eccentric recluse, Jacques Alouette, provided recordings of what he claims to be the communications between the cephalopods and humans made during the first three dives last Friday. Captain Jack (Alouette’s preferred moniker) asserts that the squids have been using the island as a communications hub and recruitment center since the late 1840’s. He was vague on who or what the cephalopods were communicating with. He played the recordings for this reporter in the parking garage of a near by shopping center claiming it was the only safe place to do so. Captain Jack claims the recruitment phase is nearly complete and he believes the best course of action would be immediate human abandonment of the greater San Francisco Metropolitan area. “Those beasties are hella mad, harbingers of Akkorokamui. Why else would CFFLISTO be involved? It’s the kracken all over again. I’m leaving. I suggest you do the same.”
Fae-Kin News Archive, Blood Gatherings of the 20th Century, Akkorokamui, Oberon, Elegast, Goodfellow, Captain Jack, CFFLISTO